We spoke today, through the wind. You whispered sweet memories in my ears while the leaves on the trees eavesdropped with jealousy. Your words created ripples on my shirt that moved across my chest and into my heart. You told me that you were alive and you were happy. I tried to answer you, did you hear me? I blew a kiss that floated into the breeze and up through the clouds. Seconds later the sun peeked out and lit the sky, so I know it reached your cheek.
I know why it rained today. You were sad that you left us so soon, sad that we were sad. Your tears brought me comfort and washed away the pain, if only for a short while. The air was fresh this morning, did you smell it? It reminded me of home. I'm glad I live in the northwest. I'll never complain about the rain again.
I tried to pull you out of your pictures today, could you feel me tugging on your arm? I wanted to take you out to lunch again and try to make you laugh. I'd let you take me back to that store, the one where you forced me to get a girly hand scrub, just so I could hear you say "um, yeah, I just made you do that" one more time. But in those same hands, on your card - May you never want for more. I will cherish the times we shared.
I said goodbye to you today. I carried the casket to your grave, but it was weightless because you weren't in it. That wasn't you. You exist not in the ground but in my memory, and you always will. I gave you one last flower at the cemetery, did you see it? It was beautiful and peaceful like your new home. It brings me comfort that you are watching over us.
We gathered today to mourn and to celebrate you. It was so hard to say goodbye to someone who had touched so many lives. Your sudden departure is bittersweet, can you taste it? Something tells me that you can. I'm so sad that you are gone but happy that you are safe and feel no pain.
Grieve not...nor speak of me with tears...but laugh and talk of me as though I were beside you. I loved you so...'twas heaven here with you.
Beloved daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend.
Christine Nichole Macken
November 5, 1985
July 5, 2010
That was beautiful, Tom. Wow. I am sitting at my desk at work with tears streaming down my face. You captured so much.
ReplyDeleteWe love you Christine.
You are an amazing writer, Tom. How therapeutic to be able to share your grief in words. I am so proud of the grace you showed all weekend during a very difficult time. What an honor to be able to carry Christine home. She now lives in all our hearts and will never be forgotten. I love you brother!
ReplyDeleteTom – What eloquent words you have crafted into a sweet remembrance. I may not have known Christine very well as I only met her a few brief times but I do know that she was a big part in all of your lives and brought so much joy and laughter to a world that can be so confusing and difficult at times. Sharing in your sorrow….
ReplyDeleteTom - I know Christine cherished her relationship with you and your words confirm it goes on. By the way, I too have fallen victim to Chris' gift to get you to do things you wouldn't think you'd do...repeatedly
ReplyDelete